Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
