I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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