I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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