You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
