What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
