Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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