the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Randomize
