Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
