Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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