I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
we're making bets on your personal life
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
