You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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