i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
