Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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