Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
