i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
