Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Randomize
