so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
The best revenge is premature balding
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
That's how pantless uber rides happen
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
