I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
