the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
