What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
