I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Randomize
