You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
