i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
