Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
