I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
