Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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