need another drink. this is the easiest way
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
