tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
