You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Randomize
