is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
