Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
