Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
