we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
