from now on my penis is your penis
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
