Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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