Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
