I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
