Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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