Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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