Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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