I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
You pole danced in your parka.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
