I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Randomize
