i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
You're a waste of cheezeits
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
