We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
So here I am, sexting at work.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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