some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
