i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
you win again, gameday.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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