Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Randomize
