And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
