You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
