So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
