how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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