ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
