I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
