I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
