so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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