just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
