Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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