4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
