You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
