i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
