Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
